Can someone with borderline personality symptoms function well?

It is a myth that people living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) cannot absolutely function well. I have seen some people function not that well, true, but many can function well. Those living with borderline personality symptoms (as outlined in the DSM-V) that function well, have learned and are applying ways of managing their emotions, maintaining relationships, handling responsibilities (like work or school), and feeling a sense of stability and purpose.

BPD does present a person with many challenges especially in the area of emotions and interpersonal relationships. People with BPD often even describe themselves as “difficult”, or not easy to live with. For me as a psychologist I have often seen that a person feel they have to apologize for having BPD, almost as if they acknowledge that it can at times lead to a therapist/psychologist giving up on them.

As a psychologist providing therapy for BDP, I really stretch the empathy levels and validation at times, to really understand how it must be for the person to live with BPD. Healthy and effective confrontation is often needed with a person having BPD, but one can only attempt that within the boundaries of a safe, accepting and non-judgmental therapeutic space.

In terms of functioning well, it is important to define what would “functioning well” look like for you? It looks different for everyone. In other words, what would tell you that you are doing well, what would be different and indicate to you that you are functioning better in the different areas of life? It could be a reduction in conflict in relationships, experiencing less anxiety within relation of important others, could be to hold a job, to complete studies or projects, to have less self-injurious behavior, to be able to work in a demanding role, to in general live a less crisis-driven reactive life. Doing well, and doing better and making progress has many faces.  

Below are some guidelines:

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